


Wanna Free Fall Out Into Nothin'

by bekkis



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-20
Updated: 2010-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bekkis/pseuds/bekkis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Jensen misses it, is all.</i> Jared and Jensen and the last four years they've spent together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanna Free Fall Out Into Nothin'

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I've been trying to write for at least three months. I'm still not sure I managed to do it. Also, this is me trying to write something different. Heavily influenced by John Mayer's cover of _Free Falling_, which I could probably write fanfiction about for forever.

Jensen misses it, is all.

He catches Jared's eye from across the room. Danneel's at his side, looking gorgeous and smiling like she doesn't have a care in the world, and Jensen realizes right then how much he misses Jared.

Jared smiles and waves a little.

Jensen misses him.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

"How did I end up with more shit than when I moved in?" Jensen looks around his room. "I mean, when did I have time to buy this shit?"

Jared laughs and kicks at a box on the floor. "You are kind of a packrat sometimes."

"Dude, I am not! I just like..."

"Clothes. You like clothes, Jensen. Just admit that you have a vagina and that Danneel's really a lesbian and then, you know..."

"Dude, don't even joke about that shit. You're not allowed to jerk off over my girlfriend."

Jared swallows and tries not to let his smile dim. "Dude, fiancée. She posted it on her Twitter and Facebook dude, it's like official and everything."

Jensen groans and flops down on his bed. "My momma cried. She cried over the phone. It was so fucking awkward. _My baby boy is all grown up._." Jensen rubs his eyes.

"Awww, how precious." Jared walks over to the bed and rests his hands on either side of Jensen's head, hovering over him.

Jensen smirks and tilts his head up and Jared can't help himself, leans down and presses his mouth against Jensen's. Jared's going to miss this.

He finally pulls back and flops down onto the bed next to Jensen. He can hear Jensen shifting next to him, resting his head on Jared's shoulder.

"Do you have to leave?"

Jensen lets out a breath and he shifts away. "C'mon, Jared." Jensen pulls himself off the bed and gets back to packing, not looking in Jared's direction at all.

Yeah, Jared knows.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

It's been over six months since he's moved out. He hasn't realized it 'till now, that things are different. The way Jared carries himself, how it is between the two of them now...Jensen hasn't touched him in six months.

It started after Sandy but it ended when Jared told him about Genevieve, about the ring he had tucked away for her and Jensen knew then, what he had to do. What he was supposed to do.

It's not settling. He keeps telling himself that he's not settling for something else with Danneel. She doesn't deserve it. Genevieve doesn't deserve it.

He keeps telling himself that and he'll believe it eventually.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jared learned a long time ago that being an adult really means just dealing with the fact that sometimes, things aren't perfect.

_Can't always get what you want._ His momma loves that song.

Jensen's sprawled out on the couch in Jared's trailer, empty coffee cup on the floor. Jared closes his laptop and walks over to the couch, and lays over on top of Jensen.

"Oh man, seriously," Jensen groans. He opens his eyes but he's got that smile on his face, his _Jared, you're being ridiculous_ smile and Jared can't help but press his mouth against Jensen's neck. Jensen lets him lay there, even buries his hand in Jared's hair and pulls him closer and Jared lets himself want.

He knows in another ten minutes that someone's gonna be knocking on the door and yelling at them to come back to set, but Jared lets himself indulge in Jensen for a few more minutes.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jared cuts out of the party early, but Jensen sticks around until the early morning hours, when the crowd starts to dwindle and the music gets just that much louder.

Danneel's still working the room, a smile for everyone and Jensen watches as she talks to a girl on the effects team and feels the swell of affection for her. That's never been a problem for him, loving her.

He looks around the room and it still feels like somethin's been missing all night. Remembers the days when Jared would be right next to him, making bad jokes and giving Jensen someone to play off of. It's something he's had something less and less of over the last year and Jensen realizes it's not going to change anytime soon.

He wonders if this means he's finally growing up.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jared loves Sundays.

Jensen hates them, always rolls over and groans when Jared gets out of bed to go for his run with the dogs. He always pulls the covers over his head and gives Jared the finger before he goes back to sleep. Jared just laughs and gets the dogs together, spending his entire run thinking about Jensen and what's waiting for him when he gets home.

Sometimes he stops for coffee on his way back but usually, Jensen's up and in the kitchen, staring into his fridge and judging Jared for his lack of decent breakfast food.

"Dude, why are you even complaining? You love the diner." Because most Sundays they end up at the diner a few blocks from the house, some hole in the wall with the best coffee and the best hash browns Jared's tasted outside of Texas.

Jensen gives him the stink eye and dumps the rest of his coffee in the sink. "It's the principal of the thing. A man should be able to enjoy his hash browns in his own kitchen is all I'm saying."

Jared laughs. "And why am I the one makin' breakfast? Maybe you should get off your lazy ass and cook every once in awhile."

"You're the one who gets up at o'dark thirty. Also, I'm old."

Jared pulls Jensen close, his thumbs slipping under the top of his boxers. "I love that you pull out that 'I'm old' bullshit when you're too lazy to do something."

Jensen grins and kisses Jared lightly. "Glad to see you're finally catchin' on, genius."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jensen doesn't remember meeting Jared for the first time.

Well, he does remember the first time they met, the first time they talked at the pilot meeting, but it's not until later that he really meets Jared. Sees him when Jared's not smiling and laughing and having a good time, but trying to juggle a relationship and his family and his dogs and his job, and then he really meets Jared. The kid who's a few years younger than him and knows, way better than Jensen ever has, what he wants.

After he knows all that, after he's seen Jared at his worst and still wants him around basically all the time, Jensen really meets him and it's all a blur after that. A few months together seems like a lifetime and Jensen is really fucked.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Genevieve's sweet.

She's everything he loved about Sandy, but different. He still can't help...

He can't help but compare everyone to Jensen. It's ridiculous that he's gotten to this point in his life and he's comparing his girlfriend to his best friend, the guy he occasionally fools around with and the guy who makes Jared laugh over the dumbest shit imaginable.

He doesn't compare Genevieve to Jensen.

He's afraid of what might happen.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

They get a car back to Jensen's place, Danneel curled up next to him with her head on his shoulder and her fingers entwined in his.

It was a good night. Jensen still loves the show but watching Jared from across the room most of the night, Jensen misses what it used to be.

Remembers Jared in that first season, wide eyed and innocent, remembers him before the heartache and the rumors and before...Before the two of them got in too deep and Jensen wasn't so tied up with him.

Sometimes, Jensen misses those days and sometimes, he doesn't know what he did before he had Jared like this.

Sometimes he wishes he never did.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jensen didn't have to be on set today, so when Jared gets back to the house, he's passed out on the couch, some basketball game blaring on the television. Jared grins as he pulls the remote out of Jensen's hands.

"When'd you get back?" Jensen murmurs, not opening his eyes.

"Just now. Go back to sleep." Jared turns the T.V. off. He turns away from the couch but Jensen grabs his arm and pulls him back. Jared topples downward, laughing as he falls on top of Jensen.

"You fucker," Jensen says, but he's grinning. He rests his hands on Jared's ass, grabbing him shamelessly and Jared laughs into his neck.

"Yeah yeah, always complainin'."

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jensen doesn't let himself get messed up over anyone. Never has. Even if this thing with Danneel goes sour, he knows that he'll bounce back, no problem. He just doesn't let himself get in that deep.

He's an asshole, but at least he's honest about it.

The fact is, it hurts. Hearing Jared saying him and Genevieve are getting married, that the two of them are forever, moving out of Jared's place into an apartment he doesn't really want, proposing....

It hurts.

He watches Jared make plans, has to listen to one sided conversations about guests and place settings and it hurts. Knowing Jared's got a best man that isn't him, that he's got to watch Jared give himself away to someone that isn't him...

It hurts.

&amp;&amp;&amp;

Jared remembers the day before it really all turned to shit. It's ridiculous but he remembers it.

Jensen's exhausted, passed out in the backseat next to Jared and snoring lightly. It's just the beginning of the season, new people on set and more press but it's still them. The two of them against the world.

Jared curls his fingers into Jensen's and tugs them into his lap and smiles.


End file.
